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St. Mary's Catholic Parish Life is
changed, A Guide to
Planning Burial or Cremation?One
of the initial decisions to make about a funeral is if there
will be cremation or burial. The Church allows cremation as long
as no disrespect is intended toward the body. If cremation is
chosen, the Church would ask that the body still be present for
the funeral Mass. As Catholic Christians, we hold a special
reverence for the body as the temple of the Holy Spirit. If
it is not possible to have the body present, then the funeral
rite calls for the cremated remains to be present at the funeral
Mass. If this is not possible, then the Church offers a
“Memorial Mass” instead of the Mass of Christian Burial
(funeral). The Mass of Christian Burial with a body or with the
cremated remains are very similar in ritual and prayers. If
you are not sure what to decide, talk with family members and
friends. Father Betts, Kathy Reilly or the funeral director are
also available to give input into your decision. The
vigil
Once
you have decided on cremation or burial, you then will need to
think about if there will be a Vigil. The Vigil is generally
held the night before the Mass of Christian Burial. At St.
Mary’s, we suggest that if at all possible, the Vigil be held
at the church. A Vigil can have several different formats: 1)
A Scripture Vigil uses readings from the Bible and has
special prayers that are said for the deceased and their family
and friends. 2)
A Rosary Vigil is the recitation of the Glorious
Mysteries of the Rosary for the deceased. Frequently a Scripture
and Rosary Vigil can be combined. The minister for the Vigil can
be a priest, another parish minister, a parishioner or even a
family member or friend. Occasionally
the Vigil will be done immediately before the Mass. This does
not usually happen, but may be necessary depending on individual
circumstances. Often a Vigil is not held at all and that is also
a very acceptable option. The
Funeral liturgy
The
Rite At the Entrance to the church
Just
as the Mass of Christian burial is ready to begin, Father, the
ministers and family members will gather around the casket or
the cremated remains at the baptistery. Father will then bless
the body or the cremated remains with holy water as a sign of
baptism. Family members or friends will then cover the casket
with the pall (the large white cloth used to remind us of our
white baptismal garments.) You will need to decide who should
place the pall. No pall or white cloth is used for the cremated
remains. The
Opening Song of the Mass begins and during the song, the casket
is brought to the front of the church. The family and pall
bearers follow behind. If there is no casket, but rather an urn,
the urn is carried to a table in the front of the church,
usually by a family member or friend. The
Opening song is one from our parish music book - “Breaking
Bread”. You may want to choose the music or we can do that for
you. We do ask that music choices come from the “Breaking
Bread” song book. The ReadingsJust
as at any Mass, once Father has said the Opening Prayer, the
Scripture Readings begin. You may want to help choose the
readings, especially if there are some that are particularly
meaningful. Father or Kathy will be glad to help direct you.
Father generally chooses the Gospel. n The first reading is from the Hebrew Scriptures (the Old Testament) n This is followed by a sung responsorial psalm. One frequently used at funerals is “The Lord is my Shepherd” - the 23rd Psalm, though there are a variety of other choices. n The second reading is from one of the New Testament letters. n Then Father reads a passage from one of the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke or John). You may want to ask family members or friends to read
the First and Second Readings. If not, there are several lectors
from our parish community who are honored to be asked to read at
funerals. The Homily
Following the Gospel reading, Father will give a
homily relating the life and faith of the deceased to the Gospel
message and also to the promise of Christian Resurrection.
Occasionally someone other than Father will be present to give a
reflection after the Gospel reading. The Prayers of the faithful
Following the homily, prayers are said for the
deceased and for their family members and friends. You may ask a
friend or family member to read these prayers, or one of our
parish members will. If there is something or someone that you
would especially like to be included in these prayers, please be
sure to mention that to Father or Kathy. The Preparation of gifts
During this time, the gifts of bread and wine are
brought forward. These will be transformed into the Body and
Blood of Jesus, which we will receive at Communion. Two or more
people are needed to bring up the gifts. This is a good
opportunity for children to be involved with the funeral
liturgy. There is a song during this time, usually one from
our “Breaking Bread” music book, though sometimes another
religious song like Ave Maria may be used. The Eucharistic Prayer
This is an ancient prayer of the Church. The word
Eucharist means thanksgiving and during this prayer we give
thanks to God for His goodness. During a regular Sunday Mass, we kneel for the
Eucharistic prayer. However, during a funeral liturgy, Father
will frequently invite everyone to be seated since there may be
many people who are not Catholic present. The Eucharistic prayer
concludes with the “Amen”. The Lord’s prayer and communion
Following the Lord’s Prayer is the Greeting of
Peace and then Communion. For most funerals, two ministers of
the cup are needed to help distribute Communion. If the funeral
is especially large, more ministers may be needed. Again, this
is something that family members or friends are invited to do,
or Eucharistic ministers from our parish will assist. Everyone present is invited to come forward during
the Communion procession. If someone is not in a position to
receive Communion, they are invited to receive a blessing. To
indicate this, they should simply cross their arms over their
heart as they approach Father. The song chosen for Communion should be one of the
many “Eucharistic” songs from our song book. Again, Father
or Kathy will be happy to help you. Following Communion, a meditation song may also be
sung. Remembrances
Occasionally someone from the family or a special
friend may speak about the person who has died. We do this after
Communion. We ask that there only be one or two people giving
remembrances and that Father know of this ahead of time. We
discourage the practice of asking anyone who wants to speak to
come forward. This is more appropriate during the Vigil or even
the reception following the funeral. The final Commendation and farewell
The Mass ends with special prayers for the deceased
and an incensing of the body or the cremated remains. At the
conclusion of these prayers, the closing song begins and the
casket or cremated remains are led out of church. Family and
friends follow. After the massOnce the Mass is finished, you will need to decide if
you will go immediately to the cemetery. Some families prefer to
do that, while others remain at the church for hospitality and
then process to the cemetery later. If you would like a luncheon at the church, either
immediately following the Mass or on your return from the
cemetery, our St. Mary’s Women are available to help you with
that. Sharon Konopa, our funeral luncheon coordinator, will call
you. Father will go with you to the cemetery for the internment. Some families choose not to have a Mass at all, but rather to have a graveside service. Father or one of the ministers from church can help with that. Planning
checklist
n Who will be the pallbearers? Often family members or friends are honored to be asked. Be sure to discuss your selection with the funeral director. 1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
n Who will place the pall on the casket? (This usually takes at least two to four people). 1) 2) 3) 4) n If there is no casket, who will carry in the cremated remains? n Who will do the readings? (Remember one of our parish lectors can also do this). n First Reading n Second Reading n Prayers of the Faithful n ___ ask parish lector to read n Are there special readings that you want? n First reading n Second Reading n Are there special intentions you would like included in the prayers of the faithful? n Who will bring up the gifts? (You can have two or more people do this). 1) 2) ___ please choose someone for us n Who will help with Communion? (Two cup ministers are needed, our parish Eucharistic ministers are honored to assist). 1) 2) ___ please ask Eucharistic ministers from the parish. n Are there special songs that you would like to suggest? n Entrance Song n Preparation of Gifts n Communion n Communion Meditation (optional) n Closing Song n ___ please choose the music for us n Is there someone you would like to ask to do remembrances? n Would you like a luncheon? n Immediately following the Mass n On the return from the cemetery n None at the church n Will there be a Vigil; what type? n
Will
there be a service at the cemetery? A
special note on the disposition of the cremated remains
“The cremated remains of a body should
be treated with the same respect given to the human body from
which they come. This includes the use of a worthy vessel to
carry the ashes, the manner in which they are carried and
attention to appropriate placement and transport, and the final
disposition. The cremated remains should be buried in a grave or
entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium.
The practice of scattering cremated remains on the sea,
from the air, or on the ground, or keeping cremated remains in
the home of a friend or relative of the deceased are not the
reverent disposition that the Church requires. Whenever
possible, appropriate means for recording with dignity the
memory of the deceased should be adopted, such as a plaque or
stone which records the name of the deceased.” From the Order
of Christian Funerals #417
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